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As I prepare to review Sex, Lies & Religion by Randy Elrod, which I received free from cre:ate 2.0 Publishing to read and post a review on my site, I feel it’s important to give you some background on me and where I’m coming from.

(I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255 “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.)

I was raised by my father in a Catholic, Italian family and went to Catholic, all girls high-school. (Does that explain a lot?) I don’t remember anyone ever talking to us about sex outside of the standard it’s forbidden before marriage message. At school dances, couples who stood to close were told, “leave room for the holy spirit.” There was no conversation about why, no effort to help us understand our feelings or emotions – it was simply forbidden.

The “sex talk” I received from my dad wasn’t much better. It consisted of a dictionary and instructions to look up and read the definition of every sexually transmitted disease. Is that TMI? Sorry if it is. My point in telling you all of this is simply to say that growing up my two main takeaways on sex were 1. It’s forbidden and 2. It can make you sick. As a married woman, I haven’t held fast to these ideas, but they did shape my opinions and experiences.

When I read Sex, Lies & Religion I suddenly became aware of another side of sex and intimacy that I had honestly never considered.

Reading the words “sex is sacred, a gift from God” made me stop. Really? I had never thought about it like that. It’s not that it’s such a shocking statement; it’s just that I had never even considered it.

As I read on, I found myself rereading paragraphs over and over hoping to store important messages for future access. There were things I needed more time to process. Things I wanted to examine further and even discuss with my husband. Did he think sex was a sacred gift from God? Why hadn’t we talked about that?

If you’ve been reading my blog for any amount of time then you probably know that my personal journey has taught me that to be truly healthy as a whole person we have to give attention to our mental, physical, emotional and spiritual needs. But what about our sexual needs? Where does that fit into the picture? How many of us have experienced issues related to physical health or the health of our relationships because of sex? I know I have. Have you read my hormone post?

Sex, Lies & Religion made me sit back and evaluate how my own views on sex and intimacy were impacting not only my marriage but my relationship with God. There were parts that made me uncomfortable. Thinking about God’s intention for my sex life wasn’t “normal” or easy for me. But it now seems like a worthwhile exercise.

Randy writes, “The way we live out our sexuality expresses who we are, who God is, what love is, how we relate to others, and why we are here. It is the essence of existence.” What does my sexuality say about me? What can I learn about myself, my relationships and my faith by examining this side of me?

Reading Sex, Lies & Religion hasn’t changed my sex life (yet), it hasn’t erased ideas and expectations that have been ingrained in me since adolescence. It has challenged my thinking and given me an opportunity to reevaluate and reshape my beliefs on sex for a healthier, more fulfilling level of intimacy with both God and my husband. More importantly, it has started conversations – conversations with me, conversations with my husband and conversations with God. It’s a book I won’t soon forget and probably one that I will come back to over and over.

“The journey is the destination,” writes Randy. This is just another stop on my journey to improve my health and happiness by addressing all the pieces that make up me – mental, physical, emotional, spiritual AND sexual.

Read it and see what conversations come up for you.