How often do you ask for help? Really think about it. Is it something that comes easy for you or do you try to do everything yourself? In examining the chaos that has often been my life over the last several years I’ve learned that I have a hard time asking for help and there are lots of reason for it.
- I don’t want to inconvenience others or be a burden
- I’m embarrassed to admit what I don’t know or can’t accomplish on my own
- I don’t want to admit I’m not supermom
- I assume asking for help means I’ve failed, I’m weak or I’m needy
I’m pretty sure I’m not alone in feeling this way. When I searched the subject “asking for help” on Google I came up with numerous books and articles dedicated to evaluating why we, as a society, have so much trouble asking for help and how we can overcome the myths and fears associated with this touchy subject.
Personally, my experiences over the last few years have proven to me that by waiting or refusing to ask for help I often escalate a small problem into a much bigger issue creating more stress and, in the end, the need for more help.
If you find yourself trying to do everything on your own or afraid to ask for help, check out this article from Dr. Deb. She debunks many of the myths that hold us back and reinforces the value and empowerment that can come from a simple request for assistance. Remember, trying to do it all yourself can push your stress level over the top. Too much stress is damaging to your physical, mental and emotional health and it’s also detrimental to your productivity.
Now think of one issue, challenge or “to do” you could wrap up by asking for help and ask.
I’m not afraid to ask for help, but currently I need to do more – I’m paralyzed by inactivity since I’ve become unemployed. I should be doing all kinds of stuff and I’m hardly doing anything. What I need is so pathetic compared to what other people need that I can’t even name it directly here for shame.
I understand that feeling, but we all need different things at different times. Going from employed to unemployed is a hard transition even when it’s something you want/plan. I say take a few days to make a list of all the things you need to do (and a few things you can ask for help with) and then set a goal for each. When you achieve them give yourself a reward even if it’s just a day off from doing stuff